fantasy and reality

As I ponders upon the choices I made, the peoples that I've step on, I think about all the things that's attached with me in the past. I thought about how they afflicted with my life, with everything. with someone. I loves mystery. The only thing that I do not love is the after events of mystery. Would they adversely be different? If only I could control my life with a pen. But, that would leave my life with awful handwriting. ha-ha .

You know what, we should talk. We really should. This intensity, I just couldn't hold on any longer.

What would you do if someone told his feels about you? Would you turn and run away, or you would try to connect with him closer? This is like a chance, a reason for you to actually do something reasonable with your life. Some humans will run away because they are afraid to face them and decided to run away instead. I was one of the humans. So, I've decided to do something unusual with my old routine. I'm going to try out with something. What to do? I'm a very curious person.

It still feels like a dream. I guess the saying is right, 'Expect the unexpected.' Well, I look forward to what comes to us.

It might sounds insane but I'm all over the heels for you. I can't say much but you make me speechless every time. Yet, you seems to know what is on my mind every time. It's like we are intertwined in destiny. You have that aura, that energy, that sparks which brings unicorns, love, rainbows to my life.  I'm internally grateful that I met you first. You were this cute little girl I met years ago. The smiles, the eyes and the cheekbones you have are fascinating. Now, you are the lady the I would want to spend my rest of life with. Together we grow,  Together we share, Together we speaks. So, Jenny Lou Peterson, will you be my lawful wedded wife?

Hallways are detrimental. They basically just tear my life around. I remembered that hallways in high school is a great place to run free and yet, most dangerous place of them all. I was alert to the surrounding for fear that I might face him. Thus sums up my teen life. Running away from those stuffs. I didn't even have the gut to face them. I was terrible at that. Now I'm too, I guess. I am still fighting my way out. I'm always afraid of eye contacts, especially to boys.  To this day, I'm much better now. I could still face them without acknowledge that they know the old me. That I was being very stupid. Silly. Fool. Naive. Also, eye contacts drive my imagination-  wild .  

It hurts tho. There will be always a person to ruin someone's life. And they are called, attention seekers.

I'm afraid. Really afraid that this is becoming a real thing. I'm starting to think that I feel them because of the loneliness. If it bounds to be true, it's better to be clear once and for all. But, probably this could be the real thing. OH FOR GOD SAKE, JANE. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND. I'm always having those thoughts. URGHHHH. Soooooo, do I or I'm not?

There, he spoke the mightiest words of them, 'She is fucking fascinating.' 

Just come over, and I shall bring you to the brightest star of the night.

He watches her, intently. His pupils elevate, growing, with this huge and enormous feels he have for her. He couldn't walk away without looking at her once, twice, or thrice. He must, ever to see her before the sun goes out. He thought of telling her but he is afraid that moving a step forward might jeopardize their relationship. What if everything turns out wrong? He terrified if she will shun away, never to talk to him again. But, what if everything turns out to be just fine? An even better relationship is formed? They would be together every moment and now then, sharing thoughts and secrets. The latter, might not it will be. He feels nauseous about it. He still looking at her, day by day, second by second. Then he turns away, afraid everything will not be the same, as always. Little did he know, she , feels the same for him too.

There were a boy and a girl. The boy keep drastically making the girl feel repellent and nauseous to him. The boy also can get very annoyed too, especially when the girl tends to make a lame joke that just somehow can't get into people's mind because they are too awful. Yet, they are inseparable.

You often startled me, I would say. Very unexpectedly, you just popped out and say a hello, a hi. As always, being a perfect girl I am, I said it back, with a smile. Then, you grew an even wider smile. My heart just, awe.

What am I today, is what the paths I've walked on.

It might sounds a bit exaggerating, I've fallen in love with you.  You made me fallen over and over again. Do you know why? It was your smile, your eyes, your confused expression.  They tend to make me happier as ever I could be. I couldn't imagine any more than this. I am fortunate enough, to have you. All of that is a past, of course.  I'm just doing what I need, to point out that there's a love, a hope, and a joy.  I finished that chapter and it's time to move on. Yet, I found myself mesmerized with the walks you had. All that of course just loneliness of all these years. Never have I to be now, because there's someone else. A new chapter, a new path, a new hope and perhaps, a one true love. truly and lovely, jane.

Keep living the dream. Love is what always carries us away from things we're supposed to do. It tends to annoy us with those silly and wishful thoughts. It really cramps up our nerves and makes the pace of heart faster and faster. I mean it, it's very maddening. I was succumbed and I felt it. It distracted me the most and sometimes it pains me to even think about it. I thought, this is how it feels like. I was happy, to finally taste the flavor of sweetness but I didn't know it was sour and bitter at the end. I tried stopping and ending the sentiment that I felt over the years. Why?  It was hurtful and brought nothing but a good old death blow on my heart. I kept and kept avoiding them and thought they will just whirlwind into bottom of the planet. Boy, I was wrong. It kept giving me the tingle and spasm whenever I saw you. Fuck you, seriously, for having no right to do all those things. I went all over the heels for you. Probably, I still do now but I do not inte...

You were the one that got away. Finally, we're going to meet for the first in ten years. I do not know what you would look like now and seriously, I'm afraid if you didn't recognize me anymore. I keep telling myself this might be the last chance for me to be your side.  I remember what you looked like ten years ago. You were wearing that blue blouse and dark blue jeans. You were holding a bouquet of flowers with your hands. Were you ready to propose me as your girfriend? Everything was so beautiful up until you got ran over by a car.  Now, I got the call that you've woken up. Finally, this is it. It's either a yes or a no now. I'm quite afraid that it's not what I would want. But, well, I still have to go over, right? Wish me luck, off I go.

This elevator is electrifying. When you stepped in, Everything went pitch black and silent. Only you, glowing in perfectly color coded dress of yours. Striking those sophisticated high heels. Without any trace of flaws. This elevator is electrifying. When you looked at me, I was frightened and petrified. I have not had this feeling for a long time.  The time will arrive if it must. But damn, you made me lost words to pour. This elevator is electrifying. When you speak profoundly, I managed to sneak a peek and I looked at those piercing blue eyes. I could not fathom why, but  The magic, the spell just dwell on me. This elevator is electrifying. When you started to move forward  With the smiles formed on your face, I stopped breathing, and  You said the utmost breathtaking ever, 'Hello, my name is Maggie.'

Please don't leave me. You told me we're soulmate, remember? Yeah. I did. But that was long before I realized that I've been clouded with all the lies that you've give me these few years. How dare you, to broke my trust! How dare you, fucking my best friend all these years. You could have at least tell me, when you started dating her! But oh no, you did not. You kept it as a secret for five years. I've had enough. Please leave. I promise I'll break off with her. We will start fresh, okay? No! You, this filthy eccentric bastard! Get away from me. I'll get a lawyer to prepare the necessary divorce papers.  You are cruel, aren't you? You, so easily to put all those hard years away. We've been preparing the houses, jobs, and the fam- It was not me. But you. You did all these. I hate you with all the bits of heart left.